finding your 'pain level'?

I wrote this Friday December 7, 2007
I found it and thought it would be good to post it here.please enjoy My essay !!
finding your 'pain level'?
Sadomasochism
Sadomasochism is often considered - in contrast to Dominance and Submission – the more physical side of BDSM. It refers to sexual gratification through the infliction of pain or suffering upon another person.The regions of the brain that manage sexual stimuli and pain overlap, resulting in some individuals associating pain with sexual pleasure as the neurological reactions are intertwined.
Sadomasochism is categorized a "Disorder of sexual preference" and described as follows: "A preference for sexual activity which involves the infliction of pain or humiliation, or bondage. If the subject prefers to be the recipient of such stimulation this is called masochism; if the provider, sadism. Often an individual obtains sexual excitement from both sadistic and masochistic activities.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM

My personnel thoughts about this:

sadist and masochist are perfect matches ....

but how is the match if a Dominant didn't tell a sub he wants to collar that he is a sadist....truth will come out after the collaring and in the first session ...

how about a sub who desires to feel pain but when the time comes she cant handle it?

How can a true Sadist meet his match?

any newbie submissive needs to learn about her/his own feelings and emotions before even thinking of a collar....
best is to explore with a munch group ..friends in the lifestyle the have her/his best interest in mind.

start of with a play session to find your 'painlevel'

let the Dominant use some spanking toys and after 1 hit ...try to express it in a level from 1-10
each spanking tool should be tried once in a beginner session
there should be a spanking session in 1 day ...and on another time {not the same day} maybe different session like sensation play.{wax play etc}
if the spanking tools session is repeated a few days later ..the pain level test should be repeated.
it will take some time and a few sessions till a submissive newbie will know her / his individual pain level.
the painlevel is different for each individual and each day.there are days a painlevel can be high and the next it may be low.Its a lot up to how the person feels.
there are a few submissive's ..there pain level will change in the level of submission and how much she /he desires to please her/his ONE !
I ,Mommah Jade would never try to match a newbie submissive with a Sadist Dominant.
I recommend that a submissive receive a training and some basic sessions before even be in a real time consideration.
basic training for BDSM can be fun ..but after everything is set for a consideration collar the submissive should be trained {personnel training} by there ONE to learn about there ONES likes and dislikes ..to please in a deeper level.
Mommah Jade Dec o7,2007 12.o7 am
Clover-style nipple clamps
The clover clamp, also referred to as a "butterfly clamp", is of Japanese design and has the ability to provide increasing tension if pulled on. The clamp itself is flat, but about 10 cm by 5 cm in size. Using spring tension, the clamp is applied to the nipple and the tension of its spring holds the clamp in place. This clamp usually provides a very high pain level, and is usually only used by more advanced users. To increase tension on the nipples, small weights such as fishing line sinkers can be attached to the ends of the clamp. As increased pulling tension is applied to the clamp, it will cause the jaws of the clamp to close tighter depending on the amount of pull pressure. Another method is to use the clamps to keep a person in one place. If cord is tied from the clamp to a fixed place, the wearer of the clamps cannot move away because the clamps will tighten as they try to move. Eventually the clamps would be pulled off the nipples, but not before considerable pain and discomfort is felt.
Friday December 7, 2007
~Mommah Jad

On DaddyDom's and babygirls

On DaddyDom's and babygirls by Kendra

 

I could never find a good description  but Kendra found the perfect words ....here is it ...

On DaddyDom's and babygirls by Kendra
I mentioned the term Daddy Dom in a chat room the other day and was greeted by a resounding Yuk! It got me thinking about the misconceptions surrounding this aspect of D/s. 

I realize most think that it involves a father/daughter relationship. That isn't quite true, 

Daddy/little girl is a much different level. I do not know if I can explain what I mean so I will simply talk about what a Daddy Dom is to me.First I should say that in my relationship my Dom is not my father, he is nothing like my father, and I have no need for him to replace my father. He is however my Daddy. We do not engage in age play specifically ( beyond the occasional school girl fantasy s) and our relationship is not based on any need to have sex with children. I am always all woman, and always a very independent woman. He does have the ability to make me feel like a little girl, however, a very cherished and sometimes needy little girl. It is a feeling that I revel in, it is the safest place I have ever been, and it allows me the freedom to be all that I am without fear of reprisals.

So..what makes a Daddy Dom? 

First and foremost he loves his little girl. She is his prized possession. His eyes light up when she walks into the room and he takes great pride in her successes. After all, he helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of his heart and has the greatest power to hurt him.Seeing her hurt however is not something a Daddy Dom wants. He sees it as his job to protect her, both from the outside world and herself. He may love to cause her great pain in a scene, but he hates to be the one to hurt her emotionally. It hurts him to have to punish her , but he knows it is sometimes necessary.This takes great strength on his part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to his needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all he wants to do is hold her safe in his arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.A Daddy Dom knows the value of discipline, though at times his soft heart gets the best of him. He knows that in order for his little girl to be the best she can possibly be he must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and his knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises. He knows this hurts her, and that tears at his heart, but he also knows it is for her own good.A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to his submissive..acceptance. She is safe in his arms because he knows her, everything about her, and he still loves her. When she goes to him she knows that this man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn't matter. To him she is beautiful.Many of you may be asking what separates a Daddy Dom from any other Dom. In most cases very little. Hopefully they all provide love, strength, protection, discipline, and acceptance. I have heard Daddy Doms described as a kinder, gentler, Dom. I like that definition though I know it won't apply to all. I guess when it really comes down to it I can't explain it. There is something infinitely magical about a Daddy Dom. Perhaps it is something only a little girl can understand.

written by Kendra

BDSM For Those Who Are Disabled

I wrote this about 2 years ago ..
   

    BDSM For Those Who Are Disabled

    Disabilities can affect everyone no matter the age, race, creed, sex, or religion. They vary from only a slight impact upon one's life, to a lifestyle altering state. There are many different kinds of disabilities, from dyslexia to paralyzing, to learning disabilities and each one affects a person and their relationships differently. For me, I have a physical disability with my left leg after 2 strokes is the past. I present the following information to show that even those with disabilities can enjoy the lifestyle with a little creativity, communication and some effort.

    My physical disability is rather complicated. because of My high blood pressure and My partly disabled leg playing in bdsm is difficult.

    These problems combined, create some rather difficult physical situations that must be dealt with carefully. My back can give me pain without warning, my legs can give out beneath me without warning, and some activities can not be done without some excess risk to my health.

    When this problem first started becoming a major factor in my life, I thought i would have to forgo my BDSM activities. This saddened me to no end because I enjoy BDSM and did not want to give up such a piece of myself. So I started thinking, looking at the things I enjoy doing, the ways I was taught to do them, and tried to find ways to improve these activities so they would be safer for me and I could still enjoy them.

    First, I am always allowed a safeword. With the nature of these conditions, I must be able to stop a scene (even a punishment) if needed. This requirement of course, means my partner must trust me that I will not abuse the safeword and I must not use the safeword when I do not need to. This presents a problem for many people, but with my physical health being what it is, this is an absolute necessity for me. In the case of a scene where I am gagged, an alternate safe action must be given to me if it has not already been negotiated.

    Problems with the lower back and the nerves there can radiate to the limbs. Numbness, tingling, shooting pains, muscle spasms and more can all affect the arms and legs of someone with nerve damage, depending on where the damage is. For me, this affects my lower limbs and back. Because of this so many activities are affected that I did consider leaving BDSM for a time. But I learned a few ways to overcome these obstacles. Below is a list of the activities and the changes made so that I may still enjoy them.

    Kneeling: Instead of kneeling up, I am allowed to rest my buttocks on my ankles or heels..or if necessary, sit on the floor rather than kneel. A pillow is allowed for me to kneel upon if it is to be for an extended period of time. In lieu of kneeling, in some situations, sitting Indian style is allowed.{due 2 My RA I can't kneel in any kind of form anymore}

    Bondage: any standing bondage must leave my feet flat on the floor, and not stretch my arms too far over my head. (this prevents muscle spasm from over stretching the muscles in my back) If more height for my body is required, then a small sturdy step stool is used for me to stand on.

    laying down: on my stomach..pillows must be placed beneath my hips and belly to keep my back straight.

    Positions: hands and knees, provided I keep my back from arching. Bent over positions can not be done very often, nor for long periods of time. Any position that bends me over something, must be done where I can bend from the hip/thigh joint and not the waist. This keeps the back straight and prevents nerve impingement.

    OTK spankings are done with me on a bed or couch, which provides support for my legs and upper body, preventing me from bending at the waist.

    Other items are used for pain play besides those which strike the body. As well, being more creative with where one hits can also provide the pain/pleasure mix without further injury to my back.

    I make it a point to always inform my partner before a session what condition my back is in. This goes a long way towards preventing accidental injury or real pain.

    As you can see, many things can be altered to allow one with disabilities to still enjoy most of the activities they did before they were disabled. Or even, to try out new ones they've always wanted to.

    Communication, imagination, creativity and effort will bring great results. Remember, play safe and have fun!

 

    this is partly from the 'web' but I re wrote it to fit My situation.

    Mommah Jade

The Dark House

the Dark house

there is a solitary house

standing alone on a dark moor.

a single ever-burning candle glimmers in

the window.

in that window,

in that house,

my soul lives there with yours.

in the darkness,

under the lowering sky,

the thrashing wind,

the crashing thunder and lightning,

we live there together,

in peace.

it has been nearly 5 years since my Soul

joined yours here.

the light of my love for you burns through

the darkness of my life,

bringing a warmth that I had never felt

until now.

i make no excuse for my blind devotion

to you for this gift you have given me.

as I lie in my bed this night,

shivering with the emptiness of missing you,

somehow I know with all certainty,

that on that dark moor,

a small light figure is nestled deep in the arms

of a darker one,

a glow shimmering around us both.

the angel ghosts of you and I,

are warm and sleeping,

in that bed,

in that house,

sheltered from the wind and the rain.

and I know my soul is

                       always protected by yours

Note by HisLadyJade over 1 year ago