My thoughts ...
SAFETY Emotional Safety
Journal Entry written 8 months ago by HisLadyJade
SAFETY RULES A REPOST
SAFETY Emotional Safety
No, pain is not all physical. Sometimes, it's in your head and your heart as well, and sometimes, those scars are the hardest to heal. Here are some tips to lessen your chances of getting them in the first place.
1)Be honest. With yourself. With prospective partners. Never be ashamed to admit you don't know something, or to ask questions. If you're looking for 24/7, don't tell someone you only want to play. If you're looking for love and romance, be up-front about it. If you are dishonest about what you want, it's not only you who could get hurt in the long run.
2)Never reveal too much about your personal life to anyone on-line. There are too many people who'll use your heartaches and problems for hot IM gossip.
3)If something doesn't feel right, it probably isn't. Your instincts, once again, are your greatest gift and resource. Use them, and listen to them.
4)Heed warnings. If you're told by more than one person that a prospective partner could be trouble, LISTEN. Take into account that it's someone else's opinion of someone you're getting to know, but always listen, and openly ask your partner about what you hear. Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if you believe everything you hear, but always hear what someone is trying to tell you, and always, check it out.
5)If a prospective partner asks you not to ask anyone else on-line about them, ask yourself why. Then ask them why. And if you can't come up with any satisfactory answers, either walk away, or proceed with EXTREME caution.
6)If a prospective partner is hesitant with personal information after you've already given yours, then take it as a warning. FIND OUT WHY.
7)Don't get dragged into on-line gossip. It may be fun for awhile, but eventually it will only come back to haunt you. There are people on-line who have nothing better to do. Don't become one of them.
8)Think for yourself. Trust yourself. Be honest with yourself. And above all, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
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More on Safe Calls
Note: These suggestions may seem to be bordering on paranoia, but it doesn't cost anything to be cautious. Don't take chances when your mental, physical and emotional health could be at risk.
Do what's right for you, but consider these or similar suggestions very seriously before agreeing to meet someone for BDSM activity for the first time.{there shouldnt be any BDSM activity on first Meet} Any Dom/me or sub who is reputable and trustworthy should have no problems with these or similar procedures, and if they do, perhaps that should be a warning signal that they are not what they appear to be.
The following information should be given to the person(s) receiving your safe calls:
* Your full name
* Your home address and phone number
* Make, model, color, and license plate number of your car if you are driving yourself, or
* Detailed information (flight numbers and times, rental car information, etc.) if you are using other transportation
ALL the information you have on person you are meeting, including:
* Their full name and screen name(s) or log on ID(s)
* Their address and phone number(s)
* Their age, description, any and all information you have on the person you are meeting.
Pass on to your safe call person(s):
* Where you are meeting
* The name of place you are meeting
* The address of the meeting place, including room number (if applicable) {THERE SHOULDN'T BE A MEET IN A HOTEL ROOM}and phone number (if you do not have it ahead of time, give it during first phone call)
* When you are meeting - time and date {ALWAYS A PLACE IN PUBLIC}
* The phone number for the local police in the town you are meeting
Be sure to have agreed and understood codewords for your safe call, one indicating that everything is ok, and one indicating that you need help.
* The first phone call should be made within 15 minutes of the established meeting time.
* The second phone call should be made within 30 minutes {OR EARLIER}after the first.
* The third phone call should be made within 2 hours after that or before leaving the place of the meeting, whichever comes first.
* The fourth phone call should be made within 30 minutes of leaving the meeting.
* If the meeting lasts longer than 3 hours, phone calls should be made no less than every 2 hours apart until you part company... then proceed with the departing call and the last call
SAFE CALLS From: "acquiescent" safety thank you
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?What are they? ?Who Needs them? ?How can they help?
Many times people are so eager to meet and/or have a session they forget about Safety. A Safe Call is a call that is used when you are meeting your partner real time. It is a way of letting someone know who you are going to be with, where you are going to go and gives a way for that person to contact you to make sure that what you thought was going to happen, does.
Set up for either you or your Safe Call to call you either at a specified time. If it is at a specified time, then it is your responsibility to call your Safe Call within a half hour either way of the designated time agreed to. If your Safe Call is the one making the call, to be sure that you are ok. If in either case you cannot be reached or spoken to, it is the responsibility of the Safe Call to contact the authorities, whether the Hotel Manager or the police from the city you are in.
Another method of using a safe-call is to decide upon two code phrases, which would sound normal to a person over-hearing the conversation, but that would signify either 'all ok' or 'trouble'. Such phrases can range from 'my head hurts' to 'I will be missing the last bus so don't worry if I take the train'. Obviously, adjust the phrases to your environment.
Who can you have as a Safe Call?? Anyone you trust with the information you get from your partner. The information is not for personal use but to use in a case of true emergency. Whether it is your mom, dad, sister, close friend or even someone you know online that you feel comfortable with. DO NOT go unless SOMEONE knows you are meeting your partner..!!!! The FIRST MEETING should ALWAYS be in a public place.
By having a Safe Call you are at least taking care not only of yourself but of those you are leaving behind, if something goes awry with the meeting.
You should NOT plan on playing/scening at this first meeting. Use this time to get to know each other socially and get to know the personal you. It is also a time to make sure that the chemistry is right between you both. If it is not - it's ok. Not everyone you meet for the first time is going to be that instant attraction. But be honest about it. What you both said online/telephone may in fact NOT be what the reality is when you meet. It is far better to know in the beginning than to keep on and hurt for a lifetime later.
It's up to you to make sure that someone knows what is going on so that you can get help if you need it. Take care of you for yourself and your loved one's
~Mommah Jade
Mommah's DON'T DO LIST !!
Mommah say's......
......DON'T SHORTEN THE TIME OF CONSIDERATION CAUSE YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH YOUR DOMINANT!!!
......DON'T BELIEVE YOUR A WHORE,SLUT ETC. CAUSE YOU WAS TOLD THAT IN A SCENE!!
.....DON'T RELOCATE WITH ALL YOUR HOUSEHOLD AND KIDS ON FIRST MEET!!
....DON'T LOOSE CONTROL DURING A BDSM PLAY PARTY!!
....DON'T FORGET YOUR OWN SAFETY CAUSE SOMEONE ELSE SAID SO!!
....DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE IN A SCENE IF YOUR NOT FOLLOWING SAFETY RULES!!
....DON'T FORGET THE AFTERCARE FOR YOUR SUB/SLAVE!!
....DON'T GET YOUR KIDS INTO BDSM ACTIVITY!!
....DON'T FORGET TO BUY STERILE ONE TIME USE ONLY NEEDLES FOR NEEDLE PLAY!!
....DON'T FORGET YOUR SAFE CALL NO MATTER WHAT!!
....DON'T GIVE OUT PERSONNEL INFORMATION TO ANYONE YOU DONT KNOW!!
.....DON'T FORGET TO BE A MENTOR IF YOUR A MENTOR!!
....DON'T EXPECT A SIR FROM A SUB /SLAVE YOU DON'T KNOW!!
....DON'T TOUCH ANOTHER DOMINANTS SUB/SLAVE!!
.....DON'T TRY ANY NEW BDSM ACTIVITY WITHOUT A FELLOW DOMINANT!!
....DON'T STOP BELIEVING IN THE LORD JUST BECAUSE YOUR INTO BDSM!!
....DON'T BELIEVE YOUR WEAK CAUSE YOUR A SUBMISSIVE !!
....DON'T HAVE A SCENE WHILE YOUR HEART IS IN ANGER !!
.....DON'T JUMP INTO A BDSM RELATIONSHIP CAUSE YOUR DESPERATE OR LONELY!!
....DON'T PLAY ON FIRST MEET!!
my old don't do list{2007}
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