House of Dark Passion

This is an Adult Site and is unsuitable for Minors.


Lord of Dark Passion

and His Lady Jade.

This House is for those who live both D/s and Gorean life style. Please respect both ways .

We are based on LOVE,TOLERANCE, TRUST and RESPECT!

We are a Dom/sub{Switch} Couple
in N.C.
All limits are respected !!
WE BELIEVE IN THE RULES OF SSC.



House of Dark Passion Chat

Quote

Sex without love is possible, certainly. But it is always inferior ♦

Friday, December 24, 2010

BDSM For Those Who Are Disabled

I wrote this about 2 years ago ..
   

    BDSM For Those Who Are Disabled

    Disabilities can affect everyone no matter the age, race, creed, sex, or religion. They vary from only a slight impact upon one's life, to a lifestyle altering state. There are many different kinds of disabilities, from dyslexia to paralyzing, to learning disabilities and each one affects a person and their relationships differently. For me, I have a physical disability with my left leg after 2 strokes is the past. I present the following information to show that even those with disabilities can enjoy the lifestyle with a little creativity, communication and some effort.

    My physical disability is rather complicated. because of My high blood pressure and My partly disabled leg playing in bdsm is difficult.

    These problems combined, create some rather difficult physical situations that must be dealt with carefully. My back can give me pain without warning, my legs can give out beneath me without warning, and some activities can not be done without some excess risk to my health.

    When this problem first started becoming a major factor in my life, I thought i would have to forgo my BDSM activities. This saddened me to no end because I enjoy BDSM and did not want to give up such a piece of myself. So I started thinking, looking at the things I enjoy doing, the ways I was taught to do them, and tried to find ways to improve these activities so they would be safer for me and I could still enjoy them.

    First, I am always allowed a safeword. With the nature of these conditions, I must be able to stop a scene (even a punishment) if needed. This requirement of course, means my partner must trust me that I will not abuse the safeword and I must not use the safeword when I do not need to. This presents a problem for many people, but with my physical health being what it is, this is an absolute necessity for me. In the case of a scene where I am gagged, an alternate safe action must be given to me if it has not already been negotiated.

    Problems with the lower back and the nerves there can radiate to the limbs. Numbness, tingling, shooting pains, muscle spasms and more can all affect the arms and legs of someone with nerve damage, depending on where the damage is. For me, this affects my lower limbs and back. Because of this so many activities are affected that I did consider leaving BDSM for a time. But I learned a few ways to overcome these obstacles. Below is a list of the activities and the changes made so that I may still enjoy them.

    Kneeling: Instead of kneeling up, I am allowed to rest my buttocks on my ankles or heels..or if necessary, sit on the floor rather than kneel. A pillow is allowed for me to kneel upon if it is to be for an extended period of time. In lieu of kneeling, in some situations, sitting Indian style is allowed.{due 2 My RA I can't kneel in any kind of form anymore}

    Bondage: any standing bondage must leave my feet flat on the floor, and not stretch my arms too far over my head. (this prevents muscle spasm from over stretching the muscles in my back) If more height for my body is required, then a small sturdy step stool is used for me to stand on.

    laying down: on my stomach..pillows must be placed beneath my hips and belly to keep my back straight.

    Positions: hands and knees, provided I keep my back from arching. Bent over positions can not be done very often, nor for long periods of time. Any position that bends me over something, must be done where I can bend from the hip/thigh joint and not the waist. This keeps the back straight and prevents nerve impingement.

    OTK spankings are done with me on a bed or couch, which provides support for my legs and upper body, preventing me from bending at the waist.

    Other items are used for pain play besides those which strike the body. As well, being more creative with where one hits can also provide the pain/pleasure mix without further injury to my back.

    I make it a point to always inform my partner before a session what condition my back is in. This goes a long way towards preventing accidental injury or real pain.

    As you can see, many things can be altered to allow one with disabilities to still enjoy most of the activities they did before they were disabled. Or even, to try out new ones they've always wanted to.

    Communication, imagination, creativity and effort will bring great results. Remember, play safe and have fun!

 

    this is partly from the 'web' but I re wrote it to fit My situation.

    Mommah Jade

Thursday, December 23, 2010

The Dark House



the Dark house
there is a solitary house
standing alone on a dark moor.
a single ever-burning candle glimmers in
the window.
in that window,
in that house,
my soul lives there with yours.
in the darkness,
under the lowering sky,
the thrashing wind,
the crashing thunder and lightning,
we live there together,
in peace.
it has been nearly 5 years since my Soul
joined yours here.
the light of my love for you burns through
the darkness of my life,
bringing a warmth that I had never felt
until now.
i make no excuse for my blind devotion
to you for this gift you have given me.
as I lie in my bed this night,
shivering with the emptiness of missing you,
somehow I know with all certainty,
that on that dark moor,
a small light figure is nestled deep in the arms
of a darker one,
a glow shimmering around us both.
the angel ghosts of you and I,
are warm and sleeping,
in that bed,
in that house,
sheltered from the wind and the rain.
and I know my soul is
                       always protected by yours


Note by HisLadyJade over 1 year ago

Thursday, November 25, 2010

How to do the G-String Tie *by John Willie.







How to do the G-String Tie

G-string tie

This method of bondage was popularized by John Willie. He regarded it as exceptionally difficult to escape from, claiming that even Harry Houdini did not like trying to escape from it.





The G-String Tie


The method of doing the tying is very simple but very hard to describe and it is the one which even Houdini did not like. You drape a long cord round the back of the neck with the two ends falling over the shoulders (see fig. I ) in front. It doesn't go round the throat but is just draped over the neck. Then you bring the ends back under the arm pits (2-F) -cross over in the middle of the back near the waist (2-B) - round in front again (2-F) & then back between the thighs (2-B) and up to the wrists (3). The only time the rope is crossed is in the middle of the back. You pull it as tight as you can & tie it to each wrist separately as they are held close together in back (3).

You then pull the ends around the thighs (4-B) thus pulling the wrists apart until each one is resting just back of the thighs & tie the cord in front (OF). The advantage of this "wrap around" tie is that no matter how the body twists or turns it does not get slack anywhere. As you no doubt know if used on a skimpy "bra" & G string costume the wearer can perform all sorts of contortions & her breasts will stay in & not fall out. If a clove hitch is tied around each wrist the more the captive struggles the tighter it will become that's all. In addition it is quite impossible to move the hands around one further back & the other further in front & that sort of thing. When this has been done you simply tie a cord as tightly round the waist & arms as you can & that is that 4-B & F).



To make this even tighter & more secure tie a cord to the one at the back of the neck (5) & then pass it around the one that goes around the waist & arms pulling tight so that the cord at the neck is dragged down a bit & the one round the arms up a bit. Then carry on down to the wrists. Now here you pass it round the cord to say the left wrist, between the wrist & where it disappears between the legs (5) and then under the other cord which goes to the right wrist. Then pull up to tie it at the cord around the elbows again (6). This should draw the cord at the elbows down a bit nearer to it's original position & pull the one at the back of the neck automatically down further it also draws the cords which come from between the legs to the wrists close together & the higher up they are drawn together the tighter they will be round the wrists & the tighter up between the legs.

If you want the wrists crossed & tied behind the back then just bring the cord from between the legs around them. This actually is more secure if pulled good & tight.



As you probably know it is far harder to get free from a cord tied over & over like this(7) than one tied around in the usually approved manner like this (8). To be candid any tie which uses the round the neck under the arms base is quite impossible to get out of & it is very useful if a spot of whipping is to be indulged in. Start as in fig (1 ) & then in (2-B) instead of just crossing the cords over tie them together as tightly as possible & then pass one end through the one at the back of the neck drawing both together like an X. This is then a good solid foundation to which the wrists can be tied crossed but up between the shoulder blades a woman can get her arms right up but a man can not - but in any case your friend's hands will be well out of the way of interfering (9) .

One of my favorite methods of tightening cords is what I call a twitch. Here is a section of cord around the ankles (10). Tie it as tightly as possible & then either with the long end or a separate piece of cord which you wrap around the cords in front & behind the ankles (passing it over & over between the ankles) you draw them together like this (11) thus considerable tightening the bondage (12).

This twitch can be used on numerous occasions for whenever two cords are apart they can be tightened by being pulled together.


If it is done at the knees you will find that you cannot push the cord between the legs below the bond i.e. nearer the knee, but you can up towards the thighs. You therefore tuck the cord under the bondage around the knees push it between the legs near the thighs & then tuck it under the bondage around the knees again from the inside & behind the legs (13). Then if you pull you'll find you have the cords like this (14) (where you could never have got it with your fingers by pushing unless you had tied the cord around the knees very loosely).

All you have to do now is push the top end back between the thighs & the bottom end up between the thighs pull them tight & there you are though I would recommend pushing it under & round once more just. You probably know all these things on the other hand you may not.

There is one hell of a tie which is very effective. The victim's hands are tied behind her back & then she sits cross legged, like Buddha & her ankles are tied in this position. Then her feet are tied to the calves of her legs squat down & you'll see what I mean. Then (rather a difficult operation) she is turned over on her face. Because her feet are tied to her calves she must keep her knees separated in fact her legs really form a triangle her two thighs being the sides & her bound feet, calves & ankles being the bottom.

Once on her face her wrists are tied back as tightly as possible to her ankles arching her back. Then she is turned over on her back again & all of those things of interest are beautifully displayed.

Another milder form of this can be done in a chair. Tie her wrists to each of the back legs just below the seat (use an ordinary straight backed chair) then pull her forward till her bottom rests right on the edge and use the wrap over tie which I have illustrated but instead of putting the cord over the back of the back of the neck put it under the chair back top & then over her shoulders, under her arms, cross over, back & then bring forward to go back between her thighs as before & then make the ends fast to her wrists where they're tied to the chair leg. To keep her knees separated don't just tie her ankles outside the chai leg but draw them together behind the front legs of the chair first & then tie each ankle to its respective leg. To tighten the bondage put a twitch round the cords from between her thighs to her wrists drawing them together under the chair seat (15 & 16). You will find that she cannot move at all & again everything will be displayed. If you want to keep the bottom further forward on the chair this is quite simple. Once in the desired position tie a cord to the top of one front leg pass it across the back of her loins to the other chair leg & tie it. This will obviously quickly slip under her bottom (if it hasn't done so already) so to prevent this use a twitch from one side of her thighs over them to the other (17), This stops her from sliding back on the chair seat. The one round her body & between her thighs stops her sliding forward so there she is. I ve just thought of a way of giving your March victim hell quite simple if you don't mind badly marking a door frame. You need two screw eyes strong ones and a small clothes line pulley also strong. Screw one eye into the door frame level with the shoulders & the other about twelve inches below it & to this you fasten your pulley. Tie "her" hands behind her back & draw them up as high as possible to be uncomfortable, & fasten them to the top ring. Then tie a cord tightly round one ankle¡ยช making a turn around the instep as well to prevent it slipping up the leg (18) then pass the long end through the pulley and having raised the other foot 5 or 6 inches clear of the ground tie that in the same way, Then leave her alone when she gets tired of standing on one leg she'll have to give a little jump to change feet as both cannot be on the ground at the same time. The position of her hands makes it difficult for her to use them to regain her balance and imagine she'll have quite an uncomfortable time. Damn I wish I could be there I could offer all sorts of suggestions. I gather that your tastes are rather like mine. I don't like extreme cruelty, your real flagellant is a most vicious person. I simply apply as much as is needed to correct disobedience. Discomfort in the form of bondage used is something of the same nature but there it helps increase the realization of helplessness.



Tuesday, November 23, 2010

All right, so what is "BDSM"?

All right, so what is "BDSM"?
 
"BDSM" is an acronym of "B&D" (Bondage & Discipline), "D&S" (Dominance & Submission), and "S&M" (sadomasochism). "BDSM" refers to any or all of these things, and a lot of stuff besides.
Tying up your lover is BDSM; so is flogging that person, or bossing that person around, or any of a thousand other things. BDSM is highly erotic, usually (though not always) involves sex or sexual tension; and is highly psychologically charged. One person (the "submissive") agrees to submit to another person (the "dominant"); or, alternately, one person agrees to receive some sort of sensation, such as spanking, from another.
Some people like to be submissive all the time, some people like to be dominant all the time; some people like to switch, being submissive one day and dominant the next.
Many people practice some element of BDSM in their sexual lives without even being aware of it. They may think of "S&M" as "That sick stuff that people do with whips and cattle prods and stuff," yet still blindfold one another from time to time, or tie one another down and break out the whipped cream...
All of these things are "BDSM." BDSM is not necessarily hardcore sadomasochism; it can be remarkably subtle and sensual and soft. Pinning your partner to the bed and running silk or ice cubes or rabbit fur over your lover's body qualifies as "BDSM" (specifically, of a variety called "sensation play").

BDSM doesn't have to involve all of these.

There are many people involved in BDSM who enjoy tying others up, or being tied up themselves, but who do not enjoy S&M--that is, they aren't interested in inflicting or receiving pain. Sometimes, one partner just ties up the other, as a form of foreplay. Similarly, there are many people who may like the psychological control they get from ordering their lovers to do things, but do not care for being physically restrained or tied, or for tying up their lovers.

BDSM is as varied as the people who do it.


I've met many people who engage in BDSM activities, such as bondage or spanking, but who insist they are "not into that BDSM stuff." Usually, it's because they have an idea in their heads about what BDSM is, like "BDSM means wearing a leather mask and being chaned to a wall and whipped, and I don't like that, so I'm not into BDSM." But BDSM desn't necessarily mean wearing a hood and being chaned to the wall. If you like being lightly spanked, or light bondage excites you, then you're into BDSM.
Some people, myself included, love the aesthetic of an elaborate rope harness, or an elaborate form of bondage; others simply aren't interested in the bondage elements at all. The key to all these different forms of BDSM, though, is the exchange of power or sensation. One person (the "bottom" or "submissive") is choosing to allow the other person (the "top" or "dominant") to have control over him or her in some way, or to inflict sensation in some way. Perhaps it means allowing the other person to tie him up, perhaps it means allowing the other person to spank her, whatever.

In particular, BDSM is NOT abuse!

People who are practicing BDSM in any of its trillions of forms are doing it voluntarily, for fun. It's a way to explore. Everything that happens in a BDSM relationship is consensual; and believe it or not, it's not just about the dominant getting what he or she wants--it's more about the submissive getting what he or she wants.
An abuser has no regard for the feelings, needs, or limits of the victim. A BDSM dominant is concerned above all else with the needs and desires of the submissive. Pretty straightforward, really.

BDSM isn't what you see in porn flicks.

The image of BDSM that is portrayed in many materials of this sort has about as much to do with BDSM as the child's tale "Jack and the Magic Beanstalk" has to do with agriculture. These materials show little more than women being used in various unoriginal ways for men's enjoyment, often by force. The reality is that there are at least as many, and perhaps more, male submissives than female submissives; and that BDSM is a mutual activity that is driven as much by the needs of the submissive than by the needs of the dominant.

Uh-huh. Sure. The needs of the submissive. Right. The dominant is the one bossing the other person around; you'd have to be some kind of jerk to want to do that.

While that may seem like it makes sense on the surface, the truth is just the opposite. People who are good at dominating or inflicting pain are, in general, LESS likely than many other people to be jerks or assholes.
Why? Because in order to be good at doing it, you need to be highly in-tune with your submissive. People who are self-centered generally make poor dominants, because they lack the empathy required to be able to read and judge their partner's reactions, and bring their partner where that person wants to go. Assholes quickly find that nobody wants to play with them; and people who are empathic tend not to be assholes. All of the real top-notch dominants I've ever met, without exception, are incredibly cool people.

In tune with your submissive? The dominant is the one calling the shots. What does the dominant care about the submissive?

Believe it or not, the dynamics of a BDSM relationship are often driven by the submissive, not by the dominant. The submissive sets the limits; the submissive decides what places can and can not be explored; the submissive has the ability to call a halt to the scene. The dominant, in many ways, is simply a facilitator. It's the dominant's job to create a setting where the people involved can explore the submissive's fantasies.
(As an aside, it's important to note that these limits can change over time. It may be that something that used to sound like it wouldn't be fun or interesting might in the future tickle your fancy; and that things you enjoy now, you may not necessarily enjoy in the future. People change over time. It's important, when you explore BDSM, to remember that, and to make a habit of talking to your partner about things you like and don't like as those things change.)
Dominating your partners does not mean that you don't want to please them. It is not always, or even usually, true that a dominant is interested in his own gratification rather than his submissive's. In fact, many dominants are driven as much by their desire to please their partner as by anything else; the psychology of a healthy BDSM relationship is driven by the submissive as well as by the dominant, and a dominant can take pleasure from gratifying the needs of the submissive just as easily as the submissive can take pleasure from gratifying the needs of the dominant. This kind of thing is not one-directional.

It's all for the submissive's benefit? Yeah, right. The submissive is the one being bossed around or spanked or whatever. How can you say that isn't abuse? 

Simple. Two reasons:
1. In a BDSM relationship, the submissive sets the limits. A victim of abuse doesn't get a vote; the victim can't tell the abuser what to do, or how much to do it. A submissive sets all the limits--what kinds of things can be (and can't be!) done, how much, and for how long.
And while we're on the subject of limits, there is more than one kind of limit in a BDSM relationship. Everybody has "hard" limits--things that they absolutely will not do, and will not even consider. Some people, for example, like to be tied up but don't like the idea of being whipped; if they won't allow themselves to be whipped, ever, that's a hard limit.
There are also "soft" limits--things that someone won't do under ordinary circumstances, but will allow to be "forced" on him or her in the context of a particular scenario that's being acted out. Between soft limits and hard limits lies an interesting psychological territory to explore.
2. A submissive gets a way to opt out. This may be a code word, or a sign of some sort; if the submissive uses it, he or she has had enough and the scene is over. An abuse victim doesn't tell the abuser when to stop.

So don't you have to be kind of sick or messed up to do that stuff?

No.

C'mon, really. I mean, tying people up...whipping them. Isn't that demented?

No.

For the most part, people who are into this kind of thing are remarkably well-adjusted. People involved in BDSM generally are neither abusive nor come from backgrounds where they were abused, because people with that kind of backgrounds aren't likely to be sexually turned on by giving someone else power over them. That doesn't mean that no BDSM relationship is abusive--since people are what they are, no form of human interaction is immune to abuse. But it does mean that the people you'll find in the BDSM community are, for the most part, very stable. (In fact, if you're going to get involved in this kind of stuff, it helps to have a cast-iron ego and a strong sense of self, particularly if you're a submissive.)
Some people think anyone interested in BDSM is suffering from some kind of past abuse. I think that the "BDSM interest=past abuse" assertion is most frequently made by people who don't understand what BDSM is. They see someone being flogged, they say "Oh! People in a BDSM relationship get hit; people in an abusive relationship get hit; ergo, BDSM is like an abusive relationship. QED."
But the fact is, the psychology of a BDSM power exchange is vastly different from the psychology of abuse; and in a BDSM relationship, the psychology is frequently driven by the limitations of the submissive, not the dominant. Typically, it is the submissive who says "This far and no farther"--which is entirely contradictory to the psychology of abuse.
Now I'm not saying that people into BDSM are never victims of abuse, of course. If you survey any arbitrary group of people--all lawyers, all redheads, all Toyota Camry owners, all BDSM participants--you'll find that some people in that group are abuse survivors. But that doesn't imply a direct connection between abuse and the practice of law, or hair color, or choice of transportation...or BDSM.
The psychiatric profession agrees, In fact, according to the DSM-IV, the standard diagnostic reference text "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" published by the American Psychiatric Association, The fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors must cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning in order for sexual sadism or masochism to be considered a disorder.
BDSM is not what it looks like from the outside. It's not just tying people up and having sex, and it's not just arbitrarily whipping people. That's very crude, and kind of boring. What it is is a sort of role-playing, where the people involved are acting out a fantasy that involves taking or giving up power. Sex is often involved, but not always.


Role-playing? Fantasy? You make it sound like it's all some kind of game.


It is. You're exercising your imagination, and you're playing a game with the other person. You get to be the dominant; your partner is the submissive; you're playing the role of the mad scientist who's just kidnapped someone and is going to use this poor innocent person for evil experiments. Or whatever. (There are people who do this all the time--one always the dominant, one always the submissive--who will tell you it isn't a game, but that's part of the game.)
At the same time, however, it is very serious. You're creating a framework that allows you to have fun and explore some very powerfully charged areas of human psychology, and push your boundaries at the same time. In this way, BDSM can be a powerful tool for self-discovery and exploration.
You can also explore fantasies by roleplaying scenarios that are highly charged psychologically. One such type of exploration is a form of BDSM called "resistance play," in which one person (the dominant) takes another person (the submissive) by force, and the submissive is expected and encouraged to resist by force. This kind of play is not everyone's cup of tea, of course, but it can be a safe and fun way to explore some of the darker fantasies that are very common in a surprising number of people.
This also can lead you into some highly volatile psychological territory. Even if it seems like something you really want to experiment with, it's possible that it can hit some psychological triggers that produce a reaction you didn't expect. So it pays to go carefully.
Many of the standard rules of BDSM apply doubly or triply to this kind of scenario. For example, using a "safeword"--a code word that means "Stop!"--is absolutely vital when you're experimenting with resistance play; one of the tenants of resistance play is that "no" does not mean "no," so you need a word that does
It also pays to negotiate the basic parameters in which you'll operate beforehand. Different people have different idea of what constitutes "force" or how rough "rough" is. If everyone involved isn't on the same page, someone may get hurt in a way that isn't so fun.

Whoa, wait a minute. Force? Whipping? That's supposed to be FUN??

It is fun, if that's your sort of thing. The experience of being flogged is nothing like what you imagine it would be like. For the most part, it's more stimulating than painful. Ditto for the experience of acting out, say, a resistance-play fantasy.
Quite honestly, there was a time when I drew the line at the whipping thing. I was absolutely certain I'd never, ever, under any circumstances, allow someone to flog me. Not me, no sir.
But then I tried it (long story), and it was absolutely nothing like what I though it'd be like.
Ever have a really deep massage? The kind that hurts, but still feels good? Same thing, only more so.
Besides, when you're sexually aroused, all kind of stimulation can be fun. Ever had a lover who left gouges in your back during sex? Or one who bites? It's very passionate and intense. If you're in the right frame of mind, even a flogging that leaves welts isn't really painful, precisely--not like stubbing your toe, or running into the edge of the bathroom wall at two o'clock in the morning because you didn't turn the light on. It's more like the lover who claws your back when she gets off thing. But hey, if it's not for you, don't do it.

Damn straight! I would never do that; I respect my lover too much.

Experimenting with intense things like resistance play and pain play do not mean you do not respect your lover. Quite the contrary; respect for your lover is absolutely paramount if you wish to do these things safely.
Respect for your lover is not just in behaving according to some ideal about the way "men are supposed to treat women" or whatever. Respect for your lover lies in exploring with your lover, creating with your lover, doing with your lover those things that you and your lover wish to do, sharing yourself on a very deep level with your lover... It's reflected in everything you say, do, express, feel, and think with your lover.
Different people want, need, and value different things. Respect recognizes those differences. And above all else, respect is an integral part of the mutual process of self-exploration and self discovery.

Now hold on a minute, kink-boy. We're talking about kinky S&M here, not Buddhism. What do you mean, "self exploration?"

Just that.
BDSM is a very broad term that encompasses many wildly different practices, and many wildly different beliefs. But central to all these things is the idea of challenging boundaries and testing limits--and that's precisely what self-exploration is all about.
You cannot know your limits if you never test them and never explore them. You may know some general things, but you can't truly know yourself if you have never explored and never experimented. As Francis Bacon wrote, Your true self can be known only by systematic experimentation, and controlled only by being known.
BDSM provides a context and a set of tools for exploring your own personal boundaries in a safe, fun, enjoyable, and mutually reciprocal way. It provides a vehicle by which you can get to know yourself and your lover much more deeply and intimately than you might have thought possible. And hey, you often find along the way that you can be surprised! You probably have turn-ons that you don't even know you have, and you will never discover without exploration.
And that, my friend, can truly enrich your life and the life of your lover.
When it comes right down to it, if your goal is self-knowledge and personal enlightenment, I put six months in a BDSM relationship up there with three years in a Tibetan monastery any day.

But where do you draw the line? How much is too much?

You draw the line wherever you want to. There isn't one way to "do" BDSM, and not everybody is in to the same things. If you like being tied up, but you don't want to be whipped, then don't be whipped! Every person is unique; not everybody has the same turn-ons; if you don't like something, don't do it.
Most people who practice BDSM believe in "safe, sane, and consensual."
That means: Don't do anything blatantly unsafe; don't try anything that's likely to get you killed or injured if you screw up, and don't do something if you aren't sure how. Be reasonable and rational. Know the difference between fantasy and reality. Make sure you're both into it before you do it. Do that, and you'll probably be okay. It's like anything else; exploring an interest in fine cuisine doesn't mean you have to like fish eggs! If it isn't for you, then that's where you draw the line.

Once you get involved in this sort of thing, don't you keep going further and further? Can you ever stop?


Some people are afraid to start exploring new things in bed because they are worried that if they start doing "kinky stuff," they won't ever be able to go back to "normal" sex, and ordinary non-kinky sex won't be fun any more.
That's absolutely not the case at all. Eating pie doesn't mean you don't like cake any more; having one kind of sex doesn't mean you don't like any other kind of sex any more.
And you might find all kinds of new things that are fun!
People are very, very complex creatures, and it's unrealistic to think that you know the whole truth about every aspect of yourself without ever having experimented with the things that turn you on. There are many things that I thought would never appeal to me that experimentation has proven are huge turn-ons for me, and I suspect the same is true of most people.
Not even "most people who are into BDSM"--most people. Nobody is completely static, and nobody can be expected to know absolutely everything about himself or herself from the get-go.
So when you start experimenting, you may find that there are things that turn you on that you never thought would turn you on. But then again, unless you are hopelessly shallow, as you go through life you'll probably discover new things that turn you on even if you don't get involved with BDSM!
And of course you can stop. Just because you learn something new about yourself, that doesn't mean you're changing into some kind of raving, uncontrolled lunatic! It just means you've discovered something new, that's all.

But how do I know if it is for me? How do I know if I'm a dominant or a submissive? How do I know if I like any of this stuff?

That depends on you. It's not like there's only one kind of person who's into BDSM; and it's not like only men are dominant or only women are submissive. (In fact, the deck seems to be tilted in favor of men who are submissives.)
And you don't necessarily even have to be dominant or submissive! Maybe you like experimenting with being tied up, or tying up your lover, but all that bossing-about stuff does nothing for you. So, the terms "dominant" or "submissive" may not apply to you, even though you do want to experiment with some aspects of BDSM. Don't get hung up on the terminology. It's really not that important.
Are you into any of this at all? Well, that depends. Have you ever had fantasies about being tied up and helpless while unspeakable things are done to your body? Have you ever wanted to be able to tell your lover exactly what to do ("Get on your knees and bark like a dog!")? You might enjoy experimenting with this sort of thing. Hey, there are worse things in the world than having an interesting and varied sex life--and if you experiment and decide it isn't for you, so be it!

So...why? What's the point of tying people up? Why would someone agree to any of this?
That's a complicated question.

The short answer is: Because it's fun, it's highly arousing, and it's tremendously powerful. It's a great vehicle for exploring a number of different kinds of fantasies in a way that's exhilarating.
People are dominant or submissive for different reasons. Being submissive in a BDSM scene can be tremendously liberating, particularly for people who aren't comfortable exploring their sexuality or their personal boundaries. When you agree to act as a submissive, you give up responsibility for what's going on; you sit back and let things happen. Provided you trust the person who's being the dominant, you can mentally relax and concentrate on the role that's being created for you.
As a dominant, the pleasure comes from constructing a scenario and acting it out. You can, at least within reason, determine the submissive's fate; you're the scriptwriter, director, and producer of the entire show; you construct the fantasy world and make it real. Being a good dominant is a lot of work. You have to be creative; you must be able to improvise; and you have to pay attention to your submissive, to maintain the illusion you're creating and make sure your submissive is getting what he or she wants from the scenario. In many ways, the dominant person is a facilitator; the dominant's job is to make a fantasy that takes the submissive wherever he or she wants to go, and bring that fantasy to life.
For many people, BDSM is an intensely personal and meaningful experience, from either side. I am both dominant and submissive--a switch. I am into BDSM because I want more. I want more experience, I want more intensity; I want to feel more, think more, experience more, be more. I want to live life in immoderation, not moderation; I want to experience intensity because I want to live intensely.
I surrender to another because I want to be taken to that place where reason and thought disappears, where the world folds up flat and spins away into its own corner and there's nothing left but what I'm feeling.
I take control of another because I want to take them to that place--because when I become the orchestrator and the director of their world, when I can set the stage and write the script and make them, for a little while, become someone else, somewhere else, then I can feel what it is to wake the sleeping lion--and that is heady stuff indeed.

On top of that, it's very romantic.

What? Romantic? You've got to be joking.
Nope. See, that's one of the things about BDSM that isn't obvious to someone on the outside. When a dominant is creating a BDSM scenario, the dominant needs to focus his or her attention entirely on the submissive. A good dominant pays very close attention to the submissive--how the submissive is reacting, what's going on around the submissive, what the submissive is feeling--everything. Having somebody pay that close attention to you doesn't suck. It's very romantic.

So you've got someone tied to the bed. So what?

It's more than just tying someone to the bed. The good stuff isn't in tying the knots; it's in what you are while you're tying the knots. Think of it as a game that's two parts acting, two parts roleplaying, three parts sex, and two parts psychology.
Or, if you want, think of this: There she (or he, depending on who you are) is, lying helpless beneath you, restrained hand and foot, blindfolded, and you have a feather in your hand...and she's very ticklish...and she doesn't...know...when...you're...going...to...

Uh...wait. Blindfolded?

Yeah! That way, the submissive (a) can't tell what's about to happen (anticipation can be half the fun) and (b) is made to focus more closely on what she's (or he's) feeling.
So, anyway, there she is, restrained hand and foot, and you get out the clothespins, and...

Clothespins?

Yes. You use them to...well, maybe we'll get into that in the "How" section.
The point is: Just tying somebody up is boring. The fun is in the stuff that goes with it. When you're restrained, you have this delicious feeling of helplessness, your lover free to do anything to your vulnerable body...it's fun!
(Incidentally, there's more than one way to tie somebody up. When most people think about bondage, they think of tying someone spreadeagle to the bed. That's a simple form of "restraint bondage"--tying somebody to keep that person from moving.
Another form of bondage is "stimulation bondage"--tying somebody up, not to keep that person from moving, but in a way that stimulates that person sexually. For example, there is a form of rope harness called a "karada" which is typically tied around a woman in such a way that the ropes pass across her breasts, around her back, and up between her legs. This form of bondage does not restrict motion at all--in fact, you can wear it to work under your clothes!--but every time she moves, the ropes shift across her breasts and between her legs, constantly stimulating her and reminding her that they are there.)
The same kind of fun can be had in bossing your lover around. The fun part isn't that you can give orders; anybody can be pushy. The fun part is in the fact that your lover is compelled, within the limits of the game, to obey. She must submit as you tell her to slowly--no, more slowly--peel off her clothes, and caress her own body as she tells you, Maestro, that she'll do anything to make you happy; then, as you direct, pick up the vibrator and...
You get the idea. These are some very tame scenarios, but they illustrate that there's more going on than just tying somebody to your bed or bossing somebody around. There's an entire interaction here that's highly sensual and very intense

Okay, okay, so, what do you actually DO, anyway?
Ah, now that's the fun part. That bit has been moved to its own page.

http://xeromag.com/fvbdsm.html

The Development of Sadomasochism as a Cultural Style in the Twentieth-Century United States

The starting point for my research on the history of SM and fetish was my dissertation in the Department of Sociology at Indiana University, Bloomington.  This work began with my first, exploratory, visit to the Kinsey Institute archives in 1992, and formally concluded in February 1998 when I defended the dissertation and earned my PhD. The abstract in English and German is provided below.




Abstract
    Today, distinctively stylized representations of fetishistic and sadomasochistic sexuality are commonplace in popular culture and fashion.  This dissertation analyzes the historical development of modern fetishistic sadomasochism (SM) as a cultural style, and examines how this style was introduced into popular culture.
    Drawing from a rich array of archival and primary source material, this analysis locates the origin of modern SM and fetishistic styles in early twentieth-century practitioner networks in Europe, Australia, and the United States. Modern SM styles are distinguished from their nineteenth-century antecedents, and three distinct, modern SM styles are specified: European Fetish (c. 1928), American Fetish (c. 1934), and Gay Leather (c. 1950). These styles originated in distinct social groups and exhibit differences in aesthetics and composition. Together, these three early-modern styles established a body of stylistic precedents from which subsequent SM and fetish styles evolved, both in sexual subcultures and in late twentieth-century popular culture. The focus of the dissertation is on the development of the American Fetish and Gay Leather styles in the United States from 1933-1971.
    The general explanatory approach used in the dissertation is the production-of-culture framework in the sociology of culture.  This approach has previously been used in historical explanations of the development of styles in art.  It is used here to explain the development of style associated with a category of sexuality.  Variations in the aesthetics and conventions of SM styles are explained in terms of processes such as the historical development of practitioner networks and social circles, the economics of the production and distribution of SM and fetishistic erotica, and the political, legal, technological, and institutional contexts in which fetishistic materials have been produced, consumed, and constrained by agencies of social control.



Auzug
    Heutzutage sind ausgeprรคgte Darstellungen der fetischistischen und sadomasoschistischen Sexualitรคt alltรคglich im allgemeinen Kultur-und Modeverstรคndnis. Diese Dissertation analysiert die historische Entwicklung des modernen fetischistischen Sadomasochismus (SM) zu einem kulturellen Lebensstil und untersucht, wie dieser Lebensstil in das Kulturleben eingefรผhrt wurde.
    Diese Analyse stรผtzt sich auf eine groรŸe Menge an Archiv- und Erstquellenmaterial und ermittelt den Beginn des modernen SM und der fetischistischen Lebensstile in verschiedenen netzwerkartigen Gruppen, die diesen Lebensstil in Europa, Australien und den Vereinigten Staaten Anfang der zwanziger Jahre praktizieren. Die modernen SM Stile werden von deren Vorgรคngern im 19. Jahrhundert unterschieden, so daรŸ sich drei ausgeprรคgte, moderne SM Stile herauskristallisieren: Europรคischer Fetisch (c. 1928), Amerikanischer Fetisch (c. 1934), und Gay Leather (c. 1950). Diese Lebensstile hatten ihre Anfรคnge in bestimmten sozialen Gruppen und zeigen Unterschiede in ร„sthetik und Zusammensetzung. Zusammen wurden diese drei frรผhen, modernen Stile zu einem stylistischen Vorreiter, aus dem sich die nachfolgenden SM und Fetischstile entwickelten, beide in sexuellen Subkulturen und im allgemeine Kulturleben des spรคten zwanzigsten Jahrhunderts. Der Fokus dieser Dissertation liegt auf der Entwicklung des Amerikanischen Fetisch und Gay Leather in den Vereinigten Staaten von Amerika von 1933-1971.
    Die allgemeine, erlรคuternde Behandlung dieses Themas in dieser Dissertation ist der Rahmen fรผr die Produktion-von-Kultur in der Soziologie der Kultur und wurde bereits in historischen Erklรคrungen รผber die Entwicklung der verschiedenen Kunststile angewendet. Hier wird die Entwicklung von Stilen, die mit einer bestimmten Kategorie der Sexualitรคt verbunden sind, behandelt. Variationen in ร„sthetik und Konventionen der SM Stile werden mit verschiedenen Vorgรคngen erklรคrt, wie z. B. der historischen Entwicklung der netzwerkartigen Gruppen von Praktizierenden und sozialen Kreisen, die wirtschaftliche Seite der Produktion und des Vertriebs von SM und fetischistischen Erotika sowie die politischen, gesetzlichen, technologischen, und institutionellen Zusammenhรคnge, in denen fetischistische Materialien produziert, konsumiert und von sozialen Kontrollmechanismen eingeschrรคnkt wurden.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Christian FemDomme ???

The Christian FemDomme

Are you female and believe you are dominant? Then you've found the right place. Do you want to know how this meshes with the Christian faith?  Please continue reading. First though, I need to ask what brings you to the idea that you might be dominant. I have to ask this because I've found that in the BDSM community there are people who are dominant for many reasons and not all of them are good.

Do you feel that to be safe with a man you must be in control of the situation at all times?
Do you feel angry with men, perhaps due to a man who didn't treat you right?  Are you someone who is self-assured, loves yourself, doesn't feel anger or discomfort with men, and does like men?

The first two are examples of reasons that being dominant may be a safety net for you rather then a predisposition.  Unfortunately, when people come to BDSM with such issues, people can get hurt or taken advantage of in a bad way.  Its not saying you aren't dominant… it is saying that to be a safe and sane dominant you need to work through those issues so that when your husband submits to you, you will be able to be a loving dominant and not a dominant who is out to get revenge for something someone else has done.  Please know yourself and work through issues you may have so that you and your husband can thoroughly enjoy this in a safe, sane, consensual, and loving way.

Ok, so you've looked into yourself to make sure that you are coming at this from the right angle.  Now you want to know how on earth can you fit being a female dominant with being a Christian. First off, be thankful for the way God made you. Don't allow people who may be very traditional make you feel bad because you aren't a meek mild submissive.  Accept that its ok if they don't understand.  Many won't understand how you can reconcile being a FemDomme with being a Christian. As long as you are right with God and not disobeying Him, you are ok.

The beauty of the relationship between a husband and wife, who are following the Biblical model, is that it glorifies God.  Its not just because they are obeying His word (though they certainly are) but because the watching world will see in them a picture of
God’s love for us - all of us, and the extravagant beauty of his love for His Church. This is a beauty that is uniquely expressed between the two of them, much as the beauty that can be seen watching a couple dance together. When such a marriage is working in harmony, it will be an evangelistic message with an irresistible pull to the watching world.

Look at Ephesians 5:21.  It states, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Submission in this passage is not the same as submission in Ephesians 5:22 which sets up a spiritual headship. Verse 22 states, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.”  If you will look at the two verses very carefully, you will see a distinctly different way in which it is worded. Verse 21 states “out of reverence for Christ.” Verse 22 states “as to the Lord.”  In verse 21, we are called to submit to our brothers and sisters out of our love for Christ, raising them above ourselves and seeking to serve them and meet their needs.  Whereas, verse 22 calls the wife to submit to her husband as a spiritual head, acknowledging and respecting his authority.  It is the couple’s submission to one another, as in  verse 21, that makes the marriage so beautiful.  As they each seek to out-serve one another and meet their mate’s needs, we see Christ’s sacrificial love at work. We see God’s plan beautifully in action.  It becomes a living testament to who God is.

However, this in NO WAY seems to say that a husband should never submit to his wife. The husband is not exempt from the submission to one another in Ephesians 5:21. This is a spiritual headship. Although we in the BDSM community may take many of our relationships more to a master/slave level, God is not speaking about BDSM here. He’s not saying you can't do that,  but he’s not saying it must be that either. He’s giving spiritual authority to the husband. When God gives authority to an individual, He always gives it so that a person or group of people can be better served.

Ok… so having said all of this, I do believe that you can be Christian and be a female and be dominant. One reason is because you are not taking the spiritual headship away from your spouse. You aren't going to say Honey, we will no longer go to XYZ church but instead we are going to worship pansies in the cellar by the pale moonlight. You aren't going to take over the family devotions. You aren't going to blab about the fight you had last night with your beloved to your neighbors or people at church. You aren't going to berate him in front of others. You aren't going to undermine his authority with the children. You wouldn't do this because you know you should show your husband love, respect, and reverence as the Bible says. You know you should submit to his spiritual headship. But if in other ways you are in control-ways that you both enjoy-there is nothing wrong with this.  His body is for your enjoyment. Your body is for his enjoyment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with enjoying each other and you being the one in control. You’re going to treat him with love and respect. This in no way conflicts with him being that spiritual leader he is called to be.

The last thing I want to address is the issue of saying your husband or potential husband MUST be into BDSM and MUST be submissive or he can't possibly be God’s will for you. BDSM is a perk. It isn't a requirement. It also may be something he doesn't understand yet but may come to enjoy later. A requirement is that he be Christian. It’s also a good requirement that he be at about the same level of spiritual maturity… so that you are equally yoked.  But… don't reject a wonderful gift God may be giving to you because at this point in time he has no interest in BDSM. Perhaps before you can both enjoy it, God needs to do other work first on one or both of you. You don't know. You will need to pray and seek God’s direction about this man.



by Lady Hellion
http://www.christiansandbdsm.com/femdomme.html
(Note from Sir Gardener: While I realize the issue of female dominant/male submissive  relationships is a hotly debated one in the Christian BDSM community, I feel that Lady Hellion has given a well thought out and Biblically based  approach to this type of relationship.)

Millie Jackson - It Hurts So Good {Lyrics}

Precious, take my heart in the palm of your hands and you squeeze it tight
Then you take my mind and play with it all night

You take my pride and you throw it up against the wall
You take me in your arms, baby, and bounce me like a rubber ball

I'm not complaining what you're doing, you see
'Cause this hurting feeling is, ooh, so good to me

Don't you know that it
(Hurts so good)

Hurts so good

Don't you know that it
(Hurts so good)

Hurts so good

You take my name, scandalize it in the streets
Anything you wanna do or say, is alright with me

Turn right around and make sweet love to me
Ooo wee, baby, you're sure 'nuff good to me

'Cause, baby (baby), these things you're doing to me
It hurts so bad, but it's worth all the misery

Cause it (lord have mercy...hurts so good) hurts so good
Don't you know that it (hurts so good) hurts so good
Oohooooo, baby, ooohoohooohoooo ooh baby,ooh oh ooh baby

Ooh, boy, please don't ever take the hurt off me
'Cause it would hurt even worse if you would ever, ever leave
(Oh, yes, it would)

Even though sometimes it's hard for me to bear (This heart is killing me)
I make myself hold out. 'Cause if it kills me, I don't care

'Cause, baby (baby), I don't want you to ever quit
It ain't no good 'till it hurts a little bit

Cause it (lord have mercy, hurts so good) hurts so good
Don't you know that (it hurts so good) hurts so good
Oh, baby (lord have mercy)

It hurts so good
Don't you ever,(lord have mercy), don't you ever stop now, baby ( hurts so good)
Don't stop, baby
(Lord, have mercy)

It hurts so good
Don't you know that It (lord have mercy, hurts so good)
So good to me, good for me baby yeah, yeah

Hurts so good
Ooh, baby

Millie Jackson - It Hurts So Good



Precious, take my heart in the palm of your hands and you squeeze it tight
Then you take my mind and play with it all night

You take my pride and you throw it up against the wall
You take me in your arms, baby, and bounce me like a rubber ball

I'm not complaining what you're doing, you see
'Cause this hurting feeling is, ooh, so good to me

Don't you know that it
(Hurts so good)

Hurts so good

Don't you know that it
(Hurts so good)

Hurts so good

You take my name, scandalize it in the streets
Anything you wanna do or say, is alright with me

Turn right around and make sweet love to me
Ooo wee, baby, you're sure 'nuff good to me

'Cause, baby (baby), these things you're doing to me
It hurts so bad, but it's worth all the misery

Cause it (lord have mercy...hurts so good) hurts so good
Don't you know that it (hurts so good) hurts so good
Oohooooo, baby, ooohoohooohoooo ooh baby,ooh oh ooh baby

Ooh, boy, please don't ever take the hurt off me
'Cause it would hurt even worse if you would ever, ever leave
(Oh, yes, it would)

Even though sometimes it's hard for me to bear (This heart is killing me)
I make myself hold out. 'Cause if it kills me, I don't care

'Cause, baby (baby), I don't want you to ever quit
It ain't no good 'till it hurts a little bit

Cause it (lord have mercy, hurts so good) hurts so good
Don't you know that (it hurts so good) hurts so good
Oh, baby (lord have mercy)

It hurts so good
Don't you ever,(lord have mercy), don't you ever stop now, baby ( hurts so good)
Don't stop, baby
(Lord, have mercy)

It hurts so good
Don't you know that It (lord have mercy, hurts so good)
So good to me, good for me baby yeah, yeah

Hurts so good
Ooh, baby

Sunday, June 27, 2010

1950s Household or How to be a good Wife

 

HOW to be a Good Wife

  1. Wifetheory, this is from a Home Economics High School Text Book, 1954.  It's also often posted as being from 1955 Housekeeping Monthly, which is definitely not true.  It's still amusing though.
  • Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal, on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal are part of the warm welcome needed.
  • Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little uplifting /fun   and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.
  • Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the home just before your husband arrives, gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.
  • Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children hands and faces (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.
  • Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and be glad he is home.
  • Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom.
  • Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
  • Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.
  • Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.
  • Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.
  • Make the evening his. Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

  • Some Don't's :
  • Don't greet him with problems or complaints.
  • Don't complain if he is late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

  • The Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.
     

Elements of a 1950's Household

In a 1950s household, social roles are strictly divided along traditional lines.  The man of the house earns the income for the family.  The woman of the house is responsible for the running of the household, however she is subservient to her husband and cares for his needs, as well as those of any children.  For a number of couples, this context is carried over to a BDSM lifestyle.  In addition to the basic roles, the sub/Domme elements are reinforced.

"The 1950s household is a social and sexual dynamic that attempts to recreate the stereotypical male-dominated marital relationship of the 50s. In truth, this activity is more social and relational than sexual, although sex can play a part.  In a 1950s household, traditional gender roles are maintained. This is a type of power exchange based completely on gender roles. The man probably works at something "manly" like business, skilled labor, or management. He takes pride in his career and providing for the family.

The woman in this situation probably stays at home as a wife or mother. If she does leave the home, it is probably for her college studies or for pre-baby work in fields such as teaching, nursing, or other "feminine" jobs. Her main responsibility, of course, is her home and her family. This woman takes pride in cooking, cleaning, ironing, and raising her children. She may do outside activities such as volunteer work or being active in a church society.

http://www.milovana.com/urge/1950s-household

Monday, March 22, 2010

Why I preach about Safety !!

personal /Why I preach about Safety !!

....a few years ago when I was back in Germany I met a Dom on a munch with our munch group.I met many Dominants and people in Our Lifestyle.But he thought he could tell Me what to do and give orders.As I naturally refuse {being a Dominant Myself}and that was it .that time....well I thought.!!Some time later,about 3 month ,things in the house was different When I returned home.I changed the lock and got new keys.But no changes.2 month later there was another group meeting where I ended up by My self cause everyone had left early.Since I do not drive I accepted {foolish Me} his offer to drive Me home.Huge Mistake !!


We didn't turned into My street..passed the town {I was already in Panic} and ended in a area called 'bergwerkswald'

When he stopt I tried to get out the car but there was a kid security .I was unable to open it.he was constantly talking ,I cant remember what exactly,it is really long ago.Now at this time My memories are somewhat clouded ..like a fog.I remember I didn't feel any pain {strange} and then there is a huge 'nothing'.

I was found on the roadside ,nude ,bloody,and almost dead.someone found Me and I ended in the ER ..where My heart stopped beating .thanks to great doctors and nurses they worked on Me to save My life I am here .

I lost My hearing on the left side,My right ear is very weak .I am wearing a hearing aid.

what troubles Me still is that it was him who was stalking Me and how was he be able to do that? after the police found him and he went to jail,his wife !!!gave him an alibi..still his lawyer had a special Doctor writing an paper

making him not responsible for what he did.So he was placed in a Hospital for people with a mental illness!.Somehow his Doctor found him as OK after 1 year ...and he was free.And he found Me and repeated his attack.My luck I survived it but still have the marks from the knife.

Dominant or not ..there are dangerous people out there and We have to follow every step of the Safety protocol.I was a fool ,young and without to much experience back then.But Life showed Me .if you wanna live and enjoy your Life and specially Our Lifestyle you need to ask for references ...former subs ,ask to speak to ..face to face .Don't play on first Meet.Don't take any offer until you get to know the person
.


Monday December 25, 2006 -

How I met My Dream /a repost

How I met My Dream /a re-post

''I know I needed a spell check''

How I met my dream .!

.................I was living in Germany my whole life .as a Mother of 3 kids and as a Domme .I learned BDSM the old fashion way.As a assistant to a Mistress and a Master ,who run a school for lifestylers.its done the old way's ,lets say old European way's .As I realized very late in life that's a totally different way from the American ways .BDSM in Europe {as far as I experienced it}..is old .you start as a student .you nothing else to the point ,you have to take pencil and paper {while you watch a scene} and take notes . later you are going to help to prep a scene ,meaning clean toys ,making sure all equipment is working well .cause damage not good and dangerous. prepping a scene includes talking to all they are part of the scene .the 'help boy's' as well as the Dominants {in training} Yes right .Dominants need to train .how else you can be sure not to have to rush into a ER ,{with a sub/slave}or something in that manner .very well some of the teachers was doctors or nurses ,when doing a medical scene .And yes after the scene a student have to stay and watch the aftercare .later a student would have to talk about the learned stuff ,to see how much was really understood.student stay strictly students for at least 2-3 years .after that periods of time ,it will show is the student turning more to be a Dominant or a submissive.Since there are contracts done in the very beginning of the school year ,a student can all ways change there status after 1 year...,after 17 yrs teaching and living the lifestyle I was taking a lil break................well back to how I met my dream.......


how I met My Dream part 1 1/2

........................................................I was a 'stay at home mom ' and went frequently into chat {black Dominance room in yahoo},and was slowly getting use to the different lifestyle way's in bdsm ...and was totally surprised that there was ''online bdsm''' !!! but I met also many real time ppl in that chat.Many Dom's {so called} wanted to CYBER what I really don't like .I actually HATE that .So one day I did ran into a {very} young Dom, we had a disagreement {cant remember the topic},and after a while we started talking ....got along sometimes and not along in other days. Since I have a strong opinion ,that's my Domme side {I didn't knew then that there was another side of me }.after talking online ,lots of disagreements and many great talks we finally found out that we care much for each other .that was after 2 1/2 years of being in contact.I decided to visit my German girl friend in Florida .she was happy to see me after 16 years being apart .she is my best and closest girlfriend ,I truly love her with all my heart. She ask me to stay with her .but not knowing about visa's and other things ,I went back to Germany .3 month later I came to visit again.after staying 3 month with her ,I had to leave .a visa is only good for 3 month .I was talking {still } to that young Dom,and decided to visit him on my way back.my flight was from Fayetteville airport {my sister had arranged that} .So........................I TOOK THE GREY HOUND BUS LOL................I never took a greyhound bus before .it was pure HELL.no bathroom ....smelly and dirty .about 14 hours in the dang bus .But I finally reached my destination.Now here I did made a mistake {I realized it late} or didn't I?

I had a safe call {my girlfriend in Florida} but no way to make it.I was with ALL my luggage .{3 suitcases and 2 big bags and my pocketbook}and totally tired ,hurt .and kinda lost .the bus plan had changed and reached there 2 hours earlier ...meaning 5 am in the morning .I was probably looking like the devil after a party {lol} and I felt that way...........no I had only German money ....and it was night time {GIRLS DON'T EVER DO THIS }....I TRUSTED the young Dom to be there and pick me up ...........foolish ?and trusted that he would bring me into a nice hotel .....where I would be safe .And .................

...............................He showed up ...{he was very cute ,a bit taller then me and very tired 2 }.took my luggage and walked me to his car ....I hesitated ....and then .........he KISSED me ............wow!!!!! why did I let him do that ....i didn't wanted that .At least my mind said NO .......well he drove me to a hotel ...I called my safe call ...and

............all that next time
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part 2 How I met my Dream

............in the Hotel

He was taking all my luggage to the room {I was to tired out and way to tired to do so myself}and we talked a bit ,I went to shower .........ewwww I needed that after that dang bus lol..............and after talking way into the morning ,I found out way more then He told online {I understand that none going to tell anyone anything soooooo private online}He was living {again }with his family .And I found out later many American's live with family .so that wasn't to unusual.{I will not talk about his family in here ,but if anyone has a question I'm willing to answer}That very morning ...............I let my control go {my very first time in my life}and I agreed to be spanked .........more likely He used his belt .DON'T DO THAT {there should never be any playing or sceening on first meet} We had both agreed that if I cant handle it ,I would use my safe word.but it didn't came that far .I overly enjoyed myself to the point I still have that very belt.....mmmmm{crazy},but then and there I SWITCHED. And it took me some time to realize that .And ....surprisingly ...I was collared the next night {way to fast}on open cam for the black Dominance room to see .I didn't even realized the cam was on {don't like cam's},since that time I'm wearing his collar .....BUT I still had to LEAVE.....usa. I left ....sad and confused .I had to return into my world ,Germany ..where I was a Domme and Mommah of 3 {all grown up } kids.As I left I felt like leaving My Life .But there was NO way of staying .My plan's was to return ....His plans was finding a new place and to move out from His family.not some easy task .But somehow it was done.when I reached home {Germany} I told my grown up kids ,''its time to really finally to grow up .My Kids {all over 20 } didn't liked it at all .but they wasn't willing to move out and live on there own .they wasn't working or helping in the house.party ...party ...party ..that was there life.My choice was final.But......in the back of my mind was still a thought ....''what happened if he don't come trough'....and what happened if he don't find a place for us ?................

what happened if his family{family as in uncle,aunts,and so on} want him to stay

.It wasn't easy .All that needed to be talked about.And I had only 4 week's .I gave my daughter {the baby 21}the key's to the house .Rent was paid for 3 more month .She had plenty time to find a new place or stay there as the contract allows her that {I had made an agreement with the landlord}and I wanted her to take care my 3 cat's .My heart was breaking to leave my babies{grown up kids }and my cat's .After 4 week's I took my flight ...with some airport trouble in Germany,as you need all ways a 'round trip ticket'.{I didn't knew}and in Atlanta {as my flight was booked on 9,14 ...just 5 day's after 9'11}I expirenced a strip search and a cop who tasted some of the German ''kinderchocolade'' just to see if its really chocolate.lol

almost missed my following flight going from Atlanta to Fayetteville.But after flying about 28 hours I finally made it {Home}.But it did surprised me ...still ..He showed up ..He was there .He found a place .it was far from luxury ,it needed much work to make it comfy ,but his search time was limited .So ,we went ...and spend some beautiful time in that very first Home ,in our very first Home.

I was extremely happy .We had much play time .I discovered a new side of myself.He renamed me into kitten .Well I went from MsJade to be his Jadekitten.At the same time We both signed our contract and I placed my limits .Everything was well .But ............my time was limited ,AGAIN...my visa was about ...running out ..I missed my flight {I wanted too}my father offered to pay for a new flight .But my heart was breaking at the thought of leaving him again... not AGAIN ....... I was praying for a solution ,for some help from God.

One morning .....he woke up ,crying .I ask whats happening ,are you ok? He said He had a bad dream.He dreamed ....that He woke up ....and I wasn't there ...He said that He Cant let me go Again.....I was happy to hear that ,but we both didn't knew how to . all of a sudden He poposed to me ....He said pls stay forever ,don't leave ....just don't............leave AGAIN. And He said that He loves Me ..........

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how I met My Dream part 2 1/2
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On the 22nd of April 04 was our marriage day.We both thought ,thats it .I wouldn't have to leave AGAIN....but things was going to get confusing.As we discovered {late}that still we needed to fill out lots of paperwork {to many to name here }.And now even after over 2 years past ,my paperwork ain't done yet .I have a legal id and I 'm registered in our home and have a social security # but ...in many places I feel misplaced or feel hate toward me .And I thought America is open minded .Nevertheless I am very happy with my Dream Dom ,as I discovered he is a Daddy Dom.Very protecting of Me and most of the time He think I'm a porcelain doll .At times I wanna remind him that I'm also flesh and blood ....He always stay cool ,when I revolt {at times} .and I'm still learning to be just His lil kitten.He has the patience others dream of and many times I'm amazed about him.He is my dream Dom......

Part 3 is soon to follow...to be continued
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now today....

I was at first rewrite it but then again ..I see things different now ..some things changed ..I changed ..

what stands strong is that

I LOVE MY DADDY LC WITH ALL MY HEART.!

I haven't been active as a Domme since I got married and miss that part in My life ,I desire a sub ,just to complete LCs and My Life
I will write more soon ..
love you 'll

Mommah Jade {I wrote that about 5 years ago }